The Trap of Being Stretched Thin
This week, I find myself moving too fast. Between summer camps for the kids, work travel, morning to evening meetings, a sick dog, and some inclement weather thrown in for good measure, life’s demands have piled up. Much of this is by my own design, yet I press on.
Having self-awareness, I know how this ends: I get stretched thin, testy, and short-tempered. I know that I need to keep the big picture in mind daily to ensure I don’t get stuck in the minutiae and bogged down by the temporary. When I am in this state, I am acutely aware of my own shortcomings.
The Responsibility of Knowledge
This awareness of my own failures struck me as I reflected on the responsibility of knowledge, a theme that plays out in this week’s readings, particularly through St. Paul’s letter to the Romans. We see God’s chosen people mature in their faith relationship from the days of Adam, through the time of Moses, and finally through Jesus. Each significant step is marked by the increased knowledge of our own actions.
It begins with the transactional knowledge of right and wrong in Eden. Once the fruit is eaten, the immediate consequence is known, and pain enters the world. Then comes Moses and the Law, giving mankind clear direction on how to behave. And again, we inevitably fail.
And that brings us to Jesus. With complete knowledge of all that we are, for better and for worse, He accepted the fate before Him and suffered for our sins. Through the scriptures, we hold the profound knowledge that God sent His Son to be sacrificed for us.
Once we possess this knowledge, we cannot un-know it. It changes everything, especially in my role as a husband and father. I know the deep impact my daily demeanor has on those closest to me. I am called to be their support, to meet them where they need me, and to be flexible rather than selfish and rigid.
From Willpower to Grace
But here is where the true knowledge of Christ’s sacrifice must intervene. I used to think that because I understood my responsibilities, I simply could not afford to fail my family, that I had to take it all on my shoulders and power through any issue on my own. But the truth is, during these long, stretched-thin summer weeks, I will fail. The knowledge I must cling to is not the heavy burden of my own perfection, but the reality of His Grace. When I inevitably stumble and lose my patience, I do not have to rely on my own white-knuckled willpower. In fact, I cannot rely solely on myself, and I cannot get hung up on my short-comings. I must use what I know and rely on Grace provided by the Cross. I must ask my family for forgiveness, and begin again.