Life Lesson 07: Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously

In life, we all go through cycles.  We undergo the lows and highs of experiences, often as we’re trying to better ourselves or others through learning new skills, improving some aspect of our life or body, or teaching others.  But something that I have struggled with is taking myself too seriously at times.  And, as with some many other faults that I possess, I can now recognize it and see it play out in the lives of others, particularly in my professional life, but also personally from time to time with friends and family.  It's hard, because as we go through life, we gain certain perceptions of ourselves that we don’t want to let go of.  This begins at an early age and continues throughout life, as we have milestones to reach in school, financial goals to achieve, and a certain image that we want to portray to those closest to us and more broadly out to the world.  All these little pressures can bound us in a sense, tying our successes in these to our sense of worth, and we can find ourselves in a literally or figuratively in a knot of our own making.  What does this do to me?  And how do I try to overcome this? 

Looking first at what it can do to us, I like to picture it as though you are walking around with a weighted jacket, and each time one of these new and improved perceptions of myself creeps in we add weight to that jacket.  “I have a degree from XYZ school, that [insert job/company/city] isn’t worth my time”, or “I’m a senior manager now, I need more expensive car”, or any other type of inner monologue that adds weight to that metaphorical jackets will weigh you down in place.  And as your burden grows, it’s hard to keep your head up, alert of your surroundings.  You get stuck in your jacket, immersed in your own world surrounded by others.  You don’t have the desire or the mental bandwidth to try anything new, you keep on your path and ignore any distraction, good or bad.  You struggle to even entertain the thought of an alternative approach.

And so, how do I try to combat this?  Well, I try to keep a child-like approach to life.  I do not mean that I shirk responsibility, only eat mac and cheese, and sleep in until cartoons come on each weekend.  No, it’s more of an openness to life.  Children are naturally curious and aren’t afraid to ask questions and also aren’t afraid to share what they’ve learned.  There is no fear of looking inadequate or uneducated in their inquiries, only a desire to understand (though sometimes maybe a hint of a desire to annoy is added on for good measure).  Now this might seem rich coming from a guy who has a blog assuming someone cares about his thoughts, but I approach it from the other side.  I see it from the aspect that I am sharing this without any supposition that it will be read, and only that I have had these revelations and experiences and if it finds you and helps, here you go, but if not, okay.  I don't fear the lack of impact of this.  And that is what all this boils down to: fear.  Fear can be met and dealt with, and it is  on us to determine what is at the source, what fear binds us to the “serious” images that we have crafted for ourselves or had crafted for us by society.  Much of the fear and anxiety that we wrestle with occur between our ears and rarely are plays out in reality, and that which does play out rarely has the devastating impact we imagined.  Why let that control us? 

So remember to be curious, ask questions, share knowledge, and fear nothing that holds you back from that mentality.